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Jokes 4 A Change-Part 1

Keep Laughing..............


Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
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Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
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Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.
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Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
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10 Commandments

TEN COMMANDMENTS
Read this... Think...


The most damaging one letter word :I Avoid it.
The most satisfying two-letter word :WE Use it.
The most poisonous three-letter word :EGO Kill it.
The most used four-letter word :LOVE Value it.
The most pleasing five-letter word :SMILE Keep it.
The fastest spreading six-letter word :RUMOUR Ignore it.
The most enviable seven-letter word :SUCCESS Achieve it.
The most nefarious eight-letter word :JEALOUSY Distance it.
The most powerful nine-letter word :KNOWLEDGE Acquire it.
The most essential ten-letter word :CONFIDENCE Trust it.

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Install Love...

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided
to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the process?


CS Rep. : Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to
proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think
I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep. : The first step is to open your HEART. Have
you located your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other
programs running right now. Is it okay to install
while they are running?

CS Rep. : What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE,
LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running
right now.

CS Rep. : No problem. LOVE will gradually erase
PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It
may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no
longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually
overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own
called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to
completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly
installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you
tell me how?

CS Rep. : My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and
invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as
necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have
been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing
itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep. : Yes. You should receive a message that says
it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you
see that message?

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Find Motivation To Exercise...

1. Think about how out-of-shape you are now. Try running the mile or doing any other kind of exercise and see how long you last. It would be a miracle if non-runner adults could get a mile time of less than 10 minutes.


2. Find reasons for becoming fit. Some reasons include:

• Weight loss: Doing track will shave minutes off your mile time and inches off your belly.

• "High": When you exercise your body releases endorphins, which cause your self-esteem to go up.

• Become better at your job. If you are in the military or law-enforcement, it's always good to have good endurance, and if you smoke, quit it.

3.Start your own exercise regimen and stick to it. Easier said than done, this will require lots of time and dedication. Sticking to it will show you how you improve and become healthier, motivating you to continue exercising.

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